Internet Safety

[Meltd0wn]

As a Single father of 2 daughters, it's instinctive for me to be protective, and that doesn't go for just my 2 kids. I feel as controller of this group that I have a responsibility to do the best within my power to keep this group Safe for everyone. This includes Adults, Teens, and especially Young Kids.

Do you really know who is on the other side of your conversation?

Many people are fooled each day by impostors online. Some simply like to make a fool out of others or just like to play pranks, but others have a more dangerous agenda. anything from trying to scam you out of money, to wanting to cause physical harm and even death.

Hiding your true identity and pretending to be someone your not is very easy online. anyone can make up any persona they want online and use that to their advantage.

The most dangerous ideas anyone can have are the beliefs "It cant happen to me", or "I'm too smart to fall for something like that."

I'm sure everyone who has been victimized, used to feel they were safe once upon a time.

One in five children are contacted by a predator online. Most never realize it till its too late.

Internet safety is simple to understand, yet difficult for most to follow. Although just take a look at your local news, it doesn't matter where you live, the chances are high that somewhere near you a child has been abducted or even worse.

There are many dangers when disregarding your safety online.

Some risks are:

Exposure to Inappropriate Material:
One risk is that a child may be exposed to inappropriate material that is sexual, hateful, or violent in nature, or encourages activities that are dangerous or illegal.

Physical Molestation:
Another risk is that, while online, a child might provide information or arrange an encounter that could risk his or her safety or the safety of other family members. In a few cases, pedophiles have used E-mail, bulletin boards, and chat areas to gain a child’s confidence and then arranges face-to-face meeting.

Harassment:
A third risk is that a child might encounter E-mail or chat/bulletin board messages that are harassing, demeaning, or belligerent. (Cyber Bullying).
Over the past couple of years, this has become a very serious problem and one to keep a look out for.

Legal and Financial:
There is also the risk that a child could do something that has negative legal or financial consequences such as giving out a parent’s credit card number or doing something that violates another person’s rights. Legal issues aside, children should be taught good "netiquette" which means to avoid being rude, mean, or inconsiderate.

Just following a few simple rules can aid you in maintaining online safety.

• Don't give out any personal information such as Full name, Age, Birth date, Home Address, Phone numbers, Parent's work address/phone number, or the name or location of your school or names of your schools sports teams.
  
• Tell your parents or guardians right away if something or someone online makes you feel uncomfortable.
  
• NEVER agree to get together with someone(face to face meeting) that you met online.
  
• NEVER send personal pictures to someone you met online.
  
• NEVER respond to Instant Messages or emails that make you feel uncomfortable, or appear malicious. (Inform parents or authority right away)
  
• Be open with your parents and understand that Internet safety is more than just lip service.
  

Please take a few minutes to watch this video.
Its called 'Amy's Choice" the true story of a 15-year-old girl who left home to meet in person with a man she first "met" online.

AMY'S CHOICE

Once you view the video, read a more in depth view, in this letter written by Amy's mother.

Read next post on this thread

(note: Amy is not her real name)

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How Parents Can Reduce the Risks:

While children need a certain amount of privacy, they also need parental involvement and supervision in their daily lives. The same general parenting skills that apply to the "real world" also apply while online.

Due to the very large number of teens and kids I have encountered over the years online, especially in the years of running this group, I decided to Include a list of links that I feel would be a good Idea for everyone to check out and possibly learn from.

And this goes for Kids as well as any Parents or adults.

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children

This one I feel is MOST relevant to our group.

IM and Chatroom Safety

Here are Others I feel are worth a read, so Please take some time to browse through each of these links And kids INVITE your parents to read these as well.

Disney's Surf Swell Island

Protect your Privacy

Xblock on iSafe

NetSmartz for Kids

NetSmartz for Teens

NetSmartz for Parents

NetSmarts home page

For Teens by Teens

ProtectKids Main page

I am NOT a Member of any of the above organizations. And I doubt they even Know of the existence of this group. I just felt they had a lot of good information that is Important, and I wanted to share that with you.

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Important info for ALL Parents.

Your child needs the Internet
The Internet is a wonderful research tool. Reliance on the Internet in schools has grown rapidly - so even if you don't have a computer in the home, chances are very good that your child is online at school, as well as at the local Library, Cyber cafe, and very likely at friend's houses as well. Online, your child has dozens of encyclopedias at his/her fingertips, they can call on experts in almost any field for information, they can also play games, keep in touch with friends, meet new people, and explore ideas and world-views we never dreamed of when we were young.

But the Internet isn't all good
There is, however, a downside to the Internet. Dropping your children off on-line is as ill advised as dropping him off in a mall unsupervised. There are predators online who would take advantage of your child's innocence and trust. There is a great deal of easily accessed pornography. There are bullies who would harass your child. There are hate-sites, pro-drug sites, and sites that promote any activity you can think of that you would normally protect your child from. Just as you don't give your child carte blanche in a video rental store or in a movie theater, and just as you monitor what types of books or magazines he is permitted to read - so should you approach the Internet issue in your home.

To take advantage of the Internet without being taken advantage of, our children need two things from us: Information and Supervision.

The information is out there and easy to find, I've shown some here already.

The Supervision comes from you, and don't be fooled by the so called "Net Nanny's" and "Child Block" programs. None of them are thorough enough to keep everything unwanted out, and they all subsequently end up blocking many sites that have nothing wrong with them at all, including educational and governmental sites. I know many "safety" sites support these, most because of pressure from government and parent groups both of which have no real clue what they are talking about anyway.

If you cant take the time to teach your kids right from wrong, and especially don't take the time to check in on them and what they are doing and don't be afraid to discipline when required, then it's time to reevaluate your position as a parent and realize what should be more important than yourself.

The website below is great at educating both parents and children about permissible behavior online, you can get the best of what the Internet offers without risking your child's innocence, safety, or your peace of mind.

I was once a volunteer of this group when I used to spend a lot of time on IRC. They have a lot of tools and reading materials to help.
CyberAngels.Org

(it is my hope that this information does not scare anyone off, but Educates everyone so that they can remain safe and still have Fun.)

[Meltd0wn]

UPDATE: In December 2004, Bill was arrested again and sentenced to ten years in federal prison for kidnapping a 15-year-old girl he met on the Internet.

If you haven't watched the video yet. Please be sure that you do. Hearing her tell the story in her own words is very important.

(as told to Anne Collier by Amy's* mother Sara*)

Fifteen-year-old Amy* had been hounding her mother to sign up for Internet service at home. “I kind of had a fear of it,” said her mother Sara. “I’d come home with newspaper articles I’d read about kids being lured by adults they’d met online.” But Amy was already using the Internet at the public library and school anyway. “She set up her own...account [with a password and free E-mail].”

Sara found out that Amy had been sharing many personal conversations with Bill, whom she had “met” in an online chatroom. They discussed her desire to live her life differently. Bill was “sympathetic” to Amy’s dreams and desires. By getting to know and sympathizing with her concerns or fears, Bill was able to break down her inhibitions.

When Amy didn’t come home one night, Sara knew something was wrong. So she began a search of Amy’s room. “I found a note [Amy] wrote saying she was 98 percent sure she was going to do this [trip]. The note said she’d be getting on a bus.” At this same time, Amy was at the bus station on the telephone with Bill. He was saying, “You can’t go home now, because I’ll get caught.” Amy felt compelled to keep him from getting apprehended.

Sara said, “I went to my local police station and tried to get them to go and get her. At that point they really didn’t want to do anything. They were thinking she had run away. [We had] the [man’s] real name and address...though at that time I wasn’t sure it was the real name. I couldn’t get anyone to go and see if this was a legitimate address. I found out that in our state runaways don’t have to return home if they don’t want to.”

Sara called the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC). Sara said it was that call that got the police to check out the address on the ticket and “find out whether...this person actually existed.”

A detective had called to say the man’s address was a computer dating service. “It turned out this is where that man worked, and he lived upstairs,” Sara said. The police said they’d watch the location.

About midnight an officer called in and said, “A taxi just pulled up, a guy and a girl got out of it, we think it’s them.” He said, “We need to find out [from Amy] if she wants to stay. In order to get her [without her consent], we’d have to get a court order showing the reason why we wanted her out.” Sara had to talk to Amy on the telephone and promise not to press charges before Amy would agree to go home.

“We had a 36-hour bus ride back [home].... At first she was really upset. She definitely wanted to be with this man. He’d been telling her, ‘I’m in love with you, you’re the only one I’ve ever done this with, you just have to come with me and when I put you up it’s going to be great.’ We learned a lot. I learned a lot. I thought I knew a lot about my child.”

But something told Sara the ordeal wasn’t over. She said, “Three weeks later this man came to our home. [Amy] slipped out...with him. He had continued to contact her, and it wasn’t until this meeting that the man assaulted [Amy], in a motel in our own town.”

NCMEC contacted the police department who sent a detective to intercept Amy and Bill before they boarded a bus. It wasn’t until police approached them in the bus station that Bill told Amy she was not the first girl he’d contacted on the Internet and lured into meeting him in person. This was the turning point for Amy, what she’d needed to hear. Not until then could she tell her mother, “I can’t believe I got suckered into this.” Bill was convicted and sentenced to a year-and-a-day term in federal prison. Bill was released in April 2001 to the United States Probation Office where he was placed on probation for three years.1 Sara told us they still get calls with no one at the other end of the line.

We asked Marsha Gilmer-Tullis, who is the NCMEC family services advocate and familiar with Amy’s case, why she thought Amy succumbed to this predator — the death of a close step-grandfather, feeling sorry for Bill, adventure-seeking, fears about the new millennium? Marsha said, “All of the above. There are lots of issues, usually. Being a teenager is a very difficult time, and there are issues and concerns that teens are struggling with. It’s often so much easier to get online, where you’re anonymous and the other person is anonymous, and talk. You’re feeling dejected and unattractive, and someone’s telling you how wonderful and beautiful you are. They’re a teen and immature, and the adult knows that and takes advantage of it.”

It’s still difficult for Sara to tell this story. She’s doing so, “To keep other families from going through what we went through. [Amy]’s feeling is the same as ours. She wants to help other kids. [Predators] catch [teenagers] at their weakest moment, and they prey on that.”

We asked Sara what advice she’d give other parents of online kids. “Know who your kids are with. I would say, watch them when they’re online, but you can’t always do that. Don’t give out any addresses, don’t agree to meet anyone, don’t believe everything you hear and see — they may be telling you that they’re 15, 14, or 12, but they’re actually probably 30, 40, or 50 years old.... Don’t think that they can’t come to your house, because they can! Listen to your feelings. Make sure you know where else your child might be using a computer; at a friend’s house, library, or school.”

*The names in this article have been changed to protect the privacy of the victim and her family.

Anne Collier is editor of the SafeKids/NetFamilyNewsletter and president of NetFamilyNews.org, a nonprofit news service for parents and teachers of online kids.